Why Pineapple is The King of Fruits

A big gold bomb of sweet juicy refreshment.

Today, June 27, is National Pineapple Day. For me, every day is Pineapple Day.

The way I became so crazy about fresh pineapple was an accident.

A few years ago, while shopping online for Christmas presents, specifically, Amazon, I accidentally ordered not just one, but 2 pineapple corers. I had left them in my cart and forgot to remove them. But once again, it was serendipity conking me on the noggin.

Indeed I had been thinking of giving two of them as gifts, and had researched and studied what makes the best corer. So what I bought is THE best.

My 5-year-old daughter loves pineapple, and although I could give or take it for the better part of my life(I did drink pineapple juice a lot as a kid, because of the sweetness), my attitude was corrected with the acquisition of this red stainless steel auger that makes breakfasts awesome.

I’d never used one of these tools before, and thought, “how easy is this supposed to make it?” Prior to this dedicated tool, I’d cut off the top and bottom of the pineapple so it would sit up straight while I carefully carved off the outer husk. You have to be careful to not go too deep, or too shallow. And what you ended up with was a lot of waste, sticky juice all over everything, and a huge chunk ‘o pineapple that still had the core in it. Lame.

So I thought I’d give the red corer a shot. And it made me laugh at how easy it was, and how awesome the results were.

Below are the ones I get from Amazon because they have a range of colors, which the others don’t. This is a well-made product, so don’t think others are superior because of “Amazon’s Choice” or a proportionately same number of good reviews. I spent more time than I want to admit researching these things. In fact, I think the Zulay model IS “Amazon’s Choice.” Whatever.


There’s nothing to it. You cut off the top, screw the stainless steel blade down to the bottom of the pineapple, and then pull up a spiraled tower of sweet gold. It comes out perfect every time.

And the best is that after you’ve pulled out the glorious gold soul of that fruit, there’s always a nice shot of the freshest pineapple juice you’ve ever had in the hull. I drink it like nectar.

So I’ve been giving these to people as gifts, along with pineapple, of course, to try it out on. Pineapples are pretty cheap, with the most expensive I’ve seen that’s not organic and harvested by bluebirds driving Teslas is $2.29, and at my grocer, which is Kroger around here, they’ll sometimes knock them down to .87 each. That’s crazy! Just give them away!

I keep my pineapples in the refrigerator before I process them so that in the morning, I’ll have a nice ice-cold fresh pineapple first thing. It’s so good. I can eat the whole thing. And you can get them year-round, being grown in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and other tropical climates. My daughter and I will fight over it in the bed it’s so good.

What many people don’t realize, I’ve noticed over my life, is that although most people on Earth know who lives in a pineapple under the sea by now, the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality. Which makes giving it to a buddy even more important.

You may often see pineapples in fabric patterns or in iron and brass accouterments and interior design. The city of Charleston, SC has a huge pineapple fountain down by the battery.


All hail King Pineapple!
off with its head
ready to take the plunge
tower of power
handle off, flip her over and
Oh, Mama!
Holy Pineapple!
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