You’re Getting Bamboozled at The Grocery Store

Madame Marie Callander’s walking off with 175+ calories! What!?

See if my math’s right.

Unlike most people, I read what I consume, and believe it to be somewhat accurate, even if misleading and politically based since everything now is. Your milk? Your milk or tuna? Think it comes from a farmer sitting on a stool or on a boat? Hardly. And the people involved in making the decisions about how it will make it there and beyond are in some even yuckier hands. Regulators, bureaucrats, scientists, publishers, professors, administrators galore, and you just name it. It’s the Department of Agriculture fer crying out loud.

But while I was heating it up – I can’t even call it “cooking” – I was looking at the numbers again. I look at these things in the store but that’s usually where it ends. I also won’t get into the few varieties and weak selection of food we now have in our stores. I watch these things more closely than most, and it has taken a serious nosedive in 2 years, and it isn’t due to the pandemic.

While it does no good to say what it wasn’t due to, it does do good to be forthright about what it IS due to, and we have people that have been given control of such things who have no idea or thought about doing such a thing. What we get is what we get, and deal with it. You’re an American, right? You can bend like rubber to support the whims of a bunch of mindless freaks, can’t you?

So here’s what we have: 1 package equals 15 oz. Keep in mind 8oz – 1 cup (dry). There’s a difference between dry and wet weight, which most people don’t seem to worry about. But for this purpose, we will.

And this is an item that I know 99.9999% of the people will not divide up into 2 portions, but eat it whole, since it’s sold, you know, whole. Saving it for later is gross in this case – the crust gets soggy and it’s just terrible. And it’s only 15 oz. Who is eating 7.5 oz of anything but a bird? I’m thin by any measure, mind you. And I could eat 3 of these things, but I don’t for what will become obvious reasons. They’re massively unhealthy, and have been widely available my whole life, and haven’t become any healthier. That answers a few questions, and that aside… Same with baloney for that matter. Why aren’t we stopping making that stuff and making only the healthy, or at least healthier, things? And also eating them? It’s cultural, yes, and won’t change overnight, but at least discuss it and stop ignoring it while talking about it at the same time! And even accepting it – have you seen the new TV shows and FAT ads? Responsibility? Accountability? Setting an example? All history in these people’s minds.


Flip this over and it has 410 per serving, which is 1 cup. 8 oz. Unfortunately, I ate it before I could weigh it and I only had 1. But the thing weighs, by the Madame’s own scales: 15 oz. 15/2= 7.5.

The Saturated Fat is enough to scare most elephants off.

So if we eat 1 cup, or 410 calories, which the label says is correct, and then eat the remainder, we should have eaten the other 358.75 calories, right? Meaning this package contains only 768.75 calories. NOT the 840 as it says.

In fact, none of the numbers make sense at all? Are we being tossed into third-world mayhem by our acclaimed “scientists” in the grocery store, too?

The good news? Your cholesterol will go down if you eat the whole thing.

The math is all crazy
Even twice 410 does NOT equal 890. Who’s writing this stuff!? Dept. of Ag? Are you skipping Math? And yes, the nutritional info of this nutritional pachyderm reads like a hit-list.

So, where did the calories go? That’s a discrepancy of a lot of calories – That almost an entire bottle of Coke, which isn’t exactly light on calories = 200.

coke 200 death defying calories a 16.9 oz. bottle. I remember when they went from 12 to 16. Everyone thought that was crazy! And it was. Everyone's weight went up by that % and died earlier by that %.
“Coke adds Life,” when really it depletes it.

I may as round this admission atonement out with another abomination I picked up at the grocery store, which I only eat 2 of at a time. “Thin” dark chocolate oreos. There’s nothing “thin” about an Oreo and at “A time” is the relative part. But I had to get the WHOPPING “Family Size” which is around 13 oz for – stand back!! – 4 cookies. Remember, they’re thin, which equals about 1 normal cookie. But look at the nutritional info. It’s better for me than Marie Callender’s!

In fact, I’m sticking this in my hallowed “theories” category. There’s tinkering going on with food, which everyone knows. And the single most important thing a living creature does to influence itself is EAT FOOD. That’s profound, but true. When I had a dog, there were two things I could do that would sustainably produce/or reduce the amount of enjoyment she had: her food and level/type of exercise. And it’s the same with humans. What we eat is vital. That’s as simple as it gets.

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